Always there
by Inkognito97
Summary: Legolas grieves about time, life and death.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Tolkien.

Author's Note: This story is written from Legolas' point of view!

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**Always** **there**

I am gazing at the stars. Somebody has told me, they are the souls of the dead... I do not quite remember who said that, but it would make no difference anyway! While gazing, I wonder if you will become one of these stars too. Will you be a shiny star which is watching at and over me? Will this be your way of staying here, only the tiniest bit of you?

Do you think it is possible for a soul to become a star or do you think our souls will go to the halls of our ancestors? Well, I do not know! But I will not ask you either! You would just laugh at me and tell me, that you do not need to be a star to be remembered. You would tell me, that a part of you will still live, deep in my heart and as long as you would be remembered, you would not be fully dead. That is what you always say, when I ask you questions like this...

I have to admit, at first I did not understand the meaning of your words, but now, I think I do! And you can be sure that I will never forget you!

Although you are not afraid to die, or so you said, I am afraid. Not of dying myself, I am just afraid of loosing you! What will I do without you? And what if I am finally dead too and not with you? What if I cannot be with you again?

I never asked you that. I knew you would not have an answer to it, you would just try to comfort me. But that is not what I want! I want you to stay here! With me! Why would you not listen to me?

I felt tears forming in my eyes, but I do not fight them back, even though you hate it to see me cry...

Forgive me, just forgive me for being so selfish and whiny, but I cannot change it, change me, or change my feelings...

... Look at me! How pitiful and sad I look! I am sitting here in my night attire, gazing out of the window at the stars and crying like a newborn; just because I could not take it anymore, just because I felt so lonely in my own room.

I sighed, still looking at the sky and the stars, listening to your steady breathing and your heartbeat. The only things which assure me that you are still alive.

Certainly it is annoying for you when I am always around, but it calms me. Every time I have to leave you, pains me, because I do not know, what is awaiting me when I come back...

But do you know what is the worst part? The worst parts are all these terrible thoughts I always have when I am not with you or when you are not awake, like now!

... Actually I always have these thoughts, but especially at night, when I am laying in my bed, trying to get some much needed sleep. Therefore I am sitting here, just in my night attire... Still silently crying and gazing at the stars...

Oh my friend, why can you not stay? Why do you have to leave me? Why are you not an elf like me? Why do you have to be a dwarf? Oh Gimli, why?

Why do we had to become such close friends? Do not understand me wrong! I would miss you, if I would not know you... but it would definitely make things much easier for me now... at least not so painful!

Finally breaking down, I closed my eyes and began to sob silently.

Why is live always so unfair? Why cannot everything be all right just one time?

I winced as I felt something warm touching and slightly caressing my cheek. I opened my eyes and realised that it was just your hand, whipping away my tears and I, I just snuggle into your hand.

Normally you would retreat your hand from my cheek and give me a loving and friendly meant smack to the back of my head and you would tell me that I should not make such a fuss about nothing. After all you were not dead yet! But not this time, this time you continue to stroke my cheek and you just look me into my eyes. Your eyes which always show your fighting spirit. The only thing that stayed young. Your beard has grown and turned white, your skin is paler and full of folds, but to me you look still like the first time we met...

You sighs, closing your eyes while retreating your hand. My heart sank, but to my surprise you are not turning around and going back to sleep. Instead you are moving aside, making room and you are lifting the covers. I hopped in immediately. You covered us again and slid an arm around me, while I cuddled to your side.

If our fathers could see us right now... but they cannot. My father is dead and yours stayed in Middle Earth when we travelled to Valinor.

But honestly, I could not care less right now, because we are comrades, best friends, soul related and maybe even something like brothers.

I was ripped from my thoughts as you started to rub my back, trying to sooth me. I had not noticed it before, but more tears were flooding down my cheeks. I hid my face in your beard and you held me more close to you.

Whispering words in my ears, you never stopped to amaze me. You were always there for me, when I needed you, and even now you know how to calm me down and how to make me feel better and make me hope again. And I am very thankful for that, I never told you, but I know that you know that.

I may still be grieving because of future events, but I now know that you will always be with me. Deep in my heart, or later, when I rejoin you and when we are together as brothers again.

This is my last thought as I lay here with you. Finally falling asleep while listening to the steady sound of your breathing and your heartbeat. Gazing at the stars, but not crying anymore.

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Hope you liked it.

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C Ya

Inkognito ;D


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